He has proposed and you said yes, you’ve done all the necessary (showing off your ring, throwing a party etc…) now you’re ENGAGED so who do you want in your wedding.
After you get engaged, one of the biggest and most exciting decisions that you’ll make will be deciding the key people in your life that you’d like to ask to be by your side as your bridal party. They’ll be there throughout the wedding planning adventure and on the biggest day of your life. The people you’ll turn to for the big things, like what style dress you should pick out and where you should go to celebrate your bachelorette party, and of course, for the little things, like what wedding band will fit perfectly with your engagement ring, and whether you should serve dessert or not. But picking out who those key people are can feel like a bit of a headache, especially if you have a large friend group or you’re looking to keep things drama-free. When it’s time to pop the question to your closest friends and family members, here’s how to go about it; Take a deep breath and let’s get started;
Don’t rush the decision: Once you’ve asked someone to be your bridesmaids you can’t take it back. So while it may be tempting to ask all of your favorite friends to be in your bridal party the minute you get engaged, don’t. Take your time. Give yourself at least a month to fully decide. Then ask yourself if you’ll be close to them in 5 years as you are now. Before you send out those “Be My Bridesmaid gifts” think about how your wedding party will get along. That doesn’t mean everyone has to be the best of friends, but if one person on your list has a stronger or even abrasive personality and tends to rub people the wrong way, that’s potential drama you’ll want to avoid if you can.
Consider the size of your wedding:
You can have as many/few bridesmaids and groomsmen as you like. Technically on an average five is the ideal number for a bridal party on both sides (maid of honor and best man included). Depending on how big you want your wedding party to be do also consider the number of your guests. You can do a 10:200 ratio or something higher or lower. Sometimes more means more in terms of cost unless they’re providing everything themselves from clothes to hair. But if you still want that many people you can assign roles to them like Ushers, champagne poppers, Gift table protocols etc.
Include your siblings: what better way to celebrate your day than with your family in your wedding party. Little siblings can be flower girls, little bride and groom, ring bearer etc. Older siblings can be ushers or attendants or a bridesmaid/groomsman or in the new style bridesman/groomslady
Choose reliable and responsible people: While you may not need your bridesmaids or groomsmen to participate too much in planning your wedding, there will be moments when you’ll need to know you can count on them. If your friend almost never calls you back or always shows up late when you have plans, they may not be the right person for the job, especially with bridesmaid dress order deadlines and tight timelines the day of your wedding. Instead, lean toward friends who you know will answer your emails, show up when you need them to (or a few minutes early), and probably be more prepared than you.
There are no rules: Just because you were in their own doesn’t mean you have to automatically include them in yours. You can still invite them to your bachelorette party but not necessarily add them to your wedding party.
The people you choose have to be people who respect what you want, as a couple. They should be people who you can trust and people who try everything to make the day as stressless and magical as possible.
Pay close attention when choosing your bridal party, it is a really special day and you want special people with you!