One of the most cherished human activities that transcends all race is marriage. This human phenomenon has existed from ancient days till date. However, to a certain degree there are joys and disappointments that can be associated with Marriage. Never be deceived, these so-called joys or disappointments may sometimes be a common myth. Nonetheless, expectations must be measured.
One of the widely known situations and concepts that are associated with marriage which is viewed as being a myth is the notion that like-minded couples have a very successful marriage. This is quite interesting and very easy to believe because obviously, in a every relationship, there are highs and lows. Similarly, having like -minded ideologies doesnâ€™t mean your relationship or marriage would be successful. Sometimes, the very thing that people feel keeps them together is the same thing that can keep them apart. One couple relates their experience.
â€œWe enjoy cooking together as a couple, but I realized my wife doesnâ€™t appreciate it when I grind pepper for our soup. Usually, after Iâ€™m done grinding, she would smile and mention my pet name. this would heighten my joy. However, one day, after my usual grinding, I had to attend to a phone call outside. On my way, I saw her regrinding the pepper as she complained bitterly that I never know how to do things like these better, all I know is sex. I felt hurt, but I pretended I didnâ€™t hear a word. This thing haunted me till I confronted her and she later admitted anytime I grind, she does another set of grinding. She was just not in a good mood. Thatâ€™s why she reacted as such. Till date, Iâ€™ve stopped going to the kitchen and for the past three years, I havenâ€™t eaten from homeâ€.
These are the words of a couple whose marriage is on the brink of a divorce simply because of an activity they both enjoyed together.
Another couple also identified that they love to produce short films and documentaries, but they had to stop going on location together because she just couldnâ€™t handle the fact that all these beautiful actresses keep hovering round her husband like scavenger birds around carcass. So, the truth of the issue is having common interest and even working together can even separate or cause divorce.
Adultery is the main factor leading to divorce
Divorce is the final termination of a marital union, canceling the legal duties and responsibilities of marriage and dissolving the bonds of matrimony between the parties involved. According to An Exploratory Study of Factors Contributing to Divorce Among Married Couples in Accra, Ghana, it indicated that divorce goes through three stages and the first stage according to the study isÂ isolation.Â The couples become separated from each other as intimacy behavior breaks down, although they might still converse and be polite to each other. In the second stage ofÂ invalidation, the couples begin to negatively assess each other’s worth and belittle one another, which gives rise to accusations. In the third stage ofÂ betrayal, trust is broken down and there is no support from each other. However, from this it is very clear that tiny sprouts of issues can cause this isolation. Usually, research has proven that either unresolved little quarrels pile and then flickers into deep rooted hatred and dislike for each other. It is at this stage then that as a result of the lack of peace that doesnâ€™t prevail in the marriage, the grey area of immorality and adultery sets in and the couple would usually want to seek a partner outside their matrimonial home to keep their sex lives alive and clear all the troubles. When it gets out of hand, and one is caught, it becomes the last straw that broke the back of the camel leading to divorce. However, for many years, weâ€™ve come to believe that extra marital affair is the cause of divorce; forgetting that there was a precursor before the final event, cheating.
Marriage is a panacea to end fornication
Usually, a lot of people are of the view that to end immorality or fornication, marriage serves as a best antidote. It is instructive to note that a lot of people engage in extra marital affairs far more than they would engage in sex before marriage. Alex (Real name concealed) indicates that he was a virgin when he married, but how his wife kept herself didnâ€™t attract her any longer.
â€œShe usually keeps pots of saliva in her mouth when she wakes up. Even when she spits it out, within the next two minutes, another set is formed. What even kills me is her attitude is draping cloth around her neck. She would refuse to wear brassiere and these things turn me off. So, to avoid these things she does I had to get a little garden by the side. She would put on some sexy g string, would want me to rub warm chocolate around her tits before I kiss or suck them. I never thought that I would ever cheat. Sometimes I regret, but if someone had told me marriage would make me do such a thing, I would have doubted the fellowâ€ he said.
All in all, you never say never, but always remember that things that happen in marriages can never be generalized. You are the only person to make your marriage a success.