One of the most intricate things that mankind will ever experience is marriage. Marriage is largely known to be a union between two people. However, in Ghana, and perhaps other few continents, families also play an integral part of the system. However, in spite of it being a very happy institution, it comes with its bitter moments which when not managed well could escalate into something different. Divorce is a common factor for millions of couples every year, but strangely, they often seem happy on the surface. Yet, dig a little deeper and you’ll find life’s not a bed of roses. Averagely, Ghana’s divorce rate stands at ten percent (10%) according to an article published on the Fashion Ghana website page.
Although, divorce is not what we seek to trumpet, it is very essential to consider if we are really ready for marriage so we do not add to the number and statistics of divorce. So, what are the things one must consider before concluding he or she is ready for marriage. Remember, this is just an opinion sought from the views of experienced married couples, whose marriages have lasted over 35 years.
One thing to consider is your financial stability. Finances in marriage can never be underestimated. Finance or money plays a quintessential role in the survival of mankind, from the provision of basic needs to other sophisticated activities like recreation and provision for some other exigencies. As a young woman or man, who desires so much to get married, what is your stand when it comes to financial provision. As a man, you assume responsibility for the provision of the household with support from your spouse, who is your helper.
Christie, a 67-year-old (names have been withheld) shares her experience. When I met my husband, he really had nothing much, but I was sure that if we worked hard, it would be well with us. He had his own job and wasn’t working for anyone. I used my expertise to help him and in two years time, he could afford to pay my bride price comfortably. This drew me close to him because I saw he was a man with vision who didn’t really have enough, but had a job that could secure our future.
Now, answer the following question; Do you have a job? How much do you earn at the end of the month? Can you satisfactorily support your parents and support a home of about three? If your answer to this question is yes, then we wish you all the best. However, if your answer is the opposite, get a job with an appreciable remuneration and save for the future.
Maturity comes in handy, when marriage comes to play. Maturity has very little to do with age to a certain extent. There are a lot of older men and women who are literally irresponsible as compared to some youth who are also less matured. However, maturity plays a huge role for a successful marriage. Daniel Okpara, a happily married man who recently lost his dear wife with whom they had married for forty years. Daniel believes that maturity is the fulcrum of marriage. To him, his definition of maturity, is being able to bridle your tongue, and restrain yourself from anger.
“I remember when I was dating my wife then we were at an outing and she did that one thing I just abhorred. Usually, when I am talking to you and you chuckle, I swear, I will beat the crap out of you. Meanwhile, my would be mother in law was at the event. I flipped and cracked the hell out of her. I felt embarrassed. The whole event took a stand still and everyone stared at me. I angrily left the scene. I didn’t see myself as mature for marriage. So, if I were married, the question is would I have treated her like that?
Daniel felt that at that time, he was not ready to marry. According to him, if he really loved his girlfriend as a part of himself, he should have restrained himself. So, to you reading, how do you react to situations in public? How do you react and treat your siblings in moments of anger? Remember that marriage is full of human contact with that one person who would constantly hurt you someway. Would you simply get annoyed or you would find ways to sort out differences? If you have problems with temper, being too serious and overly jealous when you see your partner with a member of the opposite sex, then your sense of maturity needs to be worked on.
The most important factor about marriage is accommodation and compromise. Love is about accommodation and compromise. It has virtually nothing to do with looks and how good you are in bed. This is far from love. The ancient manuscript defines love as long suffering and not puffed up with pride. Are you able to love someone with your whole heart to the extent that you look beyond looks and appearance?
Mr. Appiah, one of our interviewees, made mention that his wife to-be had a fatal accident and had one leg amputated.
“My wife to-be had a fatal accident and her left leg amputated. As at that moment, I was wondering what I would tell my parents who were royals in one of the great Kingdoms in Ghana. My father was closer to being a chief. How would he explain to his fellow chiefs that his would be-in-law is a half-legged woman? My wife pleaded I found someone else. I didn’t listen. My family initially not supportive, didn’t give me their blessing, but I forsook them and went ahead with my plans. Today, we have a very beautiful family, three of our children are abroad and doing very well. One of them a medical doctor, who was urged by the pains of seeing his mother being one legged bought a prosthetic leg, when he gained admission to Ukraine to study medicine. Our other two children, one is a lecturer in one of Germany’s best universities and the other is a manager at one of the oil firms in Saudi Arabia.
So, if you were in the position of Mr. Appiah, what would you have done?
These are not the only reasons or signs that shows you are ready to get married. Circumstances vary, but nonetheless these are basic factors to consider. Remember marriage is meant to enjoyed and not endured.